Relinquishing the Need to Control: How to “Let Go and Let God”
There is a fallacy that is prevalent among human beings today that causes us to believe that we must maintain control of every aspect of our lives. We must control where we go to school, where we work, with whom we associate, and what happens to us while we are on this earth. Many people actually have nervous or mental breakdowns when they finally realize that no one has complete control over the events, people, and personal environment that surround us as we make our way through life on this planet. If we truly cannot control things that happen, why do we even try? Why do so many of us keep ramming our heads against the brick wall of life in the futile attempt to get a handle on things so we can continue thinking we have a say in everything that occurs? If we truly do not have control, then where does free will come into the picture? Is free will our reality, or is it just another misconception colored by our perceptions of life the way we wish it to be?
Free will is concerned in every decision and action that we take, but we must realize and accept that some of our free will decisions were made before our entry into this lifetime. As such, the conscious mind does not remember those decisions and the scenarios that we, along with Higher Self and our spiritual guides, have established to assure that we will be provided the perfect situations to promote the optimal spiritual growth and development. Since we don't recall all those decisions and situations, we may rail against God and woefully ask, "Why me?" We then feel that our lives are out of control and that we are mere pawns in the game of life.
When we think of the concept of control, we must realize that we, as individuals, have control only in one area, ourselves. We can control only our own lives as far as our thoughts, words, and deeds are concerned. We are cautioned not to step into a relationship thinking to change the other person, for the only one that we can change is ourselves. And that is truth. If you doubt it, try to change the mind of a two-year-old determined to have a cookie before lunch or another bedtime story before going to sleep at night. In this case, we cannot change the child, only our reactions to his or her behavior. But that is another column.
Many of us go through our entire lives trying to control outside influences only to find that the attempt to control others results in estranged relationships, tension filled homes and workplaces, and in extreme cases, the dissolution of a relationship, whether it be marriage, siblings, or parent and child. The sooner we understand that we cannot control the behavior, thoughts, and beliefs of another human being, and that we have no right to expect them to adhere to our standards, the sooner life becomes more peaceful, calm, and meaningful.
Events that occur in the universe, on the planet, and in nature are also not within our control, unless those events are the result of mankind’s actions, such as in the case of pollution or the depletion of natural resources. For the most part, earthquakes, sun spots, hurricanes, blizzards, and killer tornadoes are not things that mankind has the technology or the power to determine or prevent. Excessive worry about these natural occurrences is time consuming and detrimental to mental health and physical well-being. It is in these cases, as well as those of other people’s behaviors, that we must learn to let go and let God handle it.
Most of the world’s population is very concerned about the prospect of war between the United States and its allies and the country of Iraq. Those who understand the stakes of this highly dangerous and volatile situation know the possible repercussions should the worst case scenario develop, in other words extensive biological warfare and/or the detonation of nuclear devices. The very thought that someone who appears to be as power hungry and non-compassionate as Saddam Hussein has control over these frightening weapons of mass destruction is enough to cause fear in the heart of the most courageous politician and military thinker. Think of the common man who, in all likelihood, will bear the brunt of the war. Yet whether we have an active part in the decisions that are being made or the consequences of those decisions, there is action we can take that can help turn the tide and alleviate the worst case scenario that we all fear. How can we do that? Let go of the fear and let God direct the outcome.
That may sound like a cop-out to some, so let me explain further. Letting go and letting God does not mean that we wash our hands of the whole affair and allow the tyrants of the world to do what they will. No, indeed! Letting go means to take the appropriate action as we can, to back up that which we recognize to be right, just, and moral, and to know that the results will be as God intends for the higher good of all involved.
Two weeks ago, I spoke about the new energies that have come to the planet and warned that the old energies are in the last die-hard stage of hanging on. Those who are motivated by the old energies, the fear and domination of others, the struggle for power at any cost, will do whatever they feel they must to maintain the upper hand in the world and will not relinquish the tenuous control they have left. These are the petty tyrants who use the funds sent by the compassionate citizens of the world to those in need to build palatial homes, buy more arms, and fill their bank accounts. Those who were meant to be helped continue to starve, to die of disease and improper sanitary conditions and lack of potable water when the solutions were provided, but diverted for immoral purposes.
Are we are brothers’ keepers? Yes. Should we continue to try all that we can to help those in need wherever they may be? Yes. Should we obsess about the possibility of full-scale war, massive earthquakes, or killer tidal waves? No.
It is, of course, much easier to buy into the doom and gloom scenarios that we hear in every media broadcast and to allow fear to dominate our lives. It is far easier to remain cowering in our homes when danger stalks the streets, as in the case of the Maryland snipers, than it is to step out and continue to live a normal life in the knowledge that God/Spirit/Universe places us where we need to be and that we are protected and loved by angels at all time. It is easier to hoard supplies and survival equipment and to stockpile food and medical supplies in isolation than it is to make the effort to work hand in hand with our neighbors. It is easier to worry and fret about the condition of the world, the environment, and the position of the magnetic poles than it is to live life daily in trust and faith.
How do we move from a position of fear and the need to control things to one of faith and trust? First, we must accept that we, as human beings, can only do so much. No matter how hard we try, we cannot stop an earthquake; we cannot even control a forest fire to our satisfaction. What we can do is to take a page from the Serenity prayer of all the 12 Step programs.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
When it comes to things we can prepare for in advance such as inclement weather, hurricanes, etc., follow your inner guidance and prepare to the extent you are led without paranoia and obsession. Once you have done what you can, bless your actions and then focus on two things, continuing your normal everyday life and sending love and light into the situation for which you have prepared.
Spend time daily in prayer and meditation for peace on the planet and good will between all men. Visualize all mankind living together in cooperation and trust. Do not see how this will come about; know only that it will. Visualize every man, woman, and child living in abundance with all basic needs provided. See all people having easy access to safe drinking water, shelter, food, and medical assistance. See education and freedom for all. See all people in joy and happiness enjoying peace and balance.
Visualize the tectonic plates of the planets moving gently and smoothly, without jarring, slipping and violence. Visualize the hurricane brewing in the south Atlantic moving harmlessly out to sea away from shipping lanes so no person is in peril. Visualize the environment in balance, the flora and fauna thriving in healthy soil and pristine clean water and air. Feel the oneness with every living thing and the connection to all your fellow humans, no matter the race, color, religion, gender, age, or lifestyle.
Have faith that the Universe really does have a plan and that it is constantly in motion, whether we can see it or not. Have faith that Spirit loves and protects us all every moment of every day. Understand that God does not make junk and that we are all works in progress. Above all, remember that we are all on this planet at this moment in time to learn to love one another, to live together in peace and harmony, and to usher in a new era of balance for the planet.
That’s a very big task to undertake. The beauty of it is that we don’t have to do it all at once and we don’t have to do it alone. We don’t even have to do the whole thing! All we have to do is take care of ourselves, one person at a time. As I eliminate worry about tomorrow, fears about the possibility of war, obsession with the condition of the environment, and paranoia about anthrax and nuclear war from my life, I allow peace and harmony to enter in their place. As I can live more in peace and harmony, my family members will be able to live more in peace and harmony. As they begin to live more peacefully, the ripples of peace, love, and balance will slowly spread out across the planet and soon we all will be sharing it.
We must know that this is happening as we speak. We must accept the truth of the Universal plan for peace and abundance for all. We must have faith so strong and steadfast in the desired outcome of a higher and better way of life on this planet, that there is no place in our minds for the tiniest doubt. We must all know within our hearts that the old energies of fear and hatred and prejudice are no longer welcome on this planet, that their time has gone forever. We must welcome with open arms, hearts, and minds the knowledge of the new energies of unconditional love, mutual respect and understanding, and oneness with all of the Universe/God/Spirit. As we change the thinking, feeling, and knowledge within in and every one of us, the new energies will spread like wildfire across the planet and peace and love will prevail in the hearts and minds of all.
Accept the things you cannot change, change the things you can, and give the rest to Go/Spirit/Universe to deal with. Relinquish control. Let go and let God.
Blessings, Love and Light to all.
