Shingles: ALesson on Life
It’s good to be back here with all of you after my more than three month absence. Some of you might be surprised by the change in my appearance and the change in my speaking. These past months I have had the great opportunity to grow spiritually while experiencing a little disease called “shingles”.
I had heard of the disease but before I actually contracted it, I really had no idea what it was or why it occurred. Shingles is part of the herpes family just as chicken pox is; in fact, if you never had chicken pox, you can never develop shingles. During the chicken pox, the virus embeds within the nerves and hibernates. For most people that is the end of the story. For some of us, however, later in life the virus can be reactivated by certain conditions, primarily stress. When the virus reactivates, the nerves in certain parts of the body are affected. In my case, the left side of my head was affected. My ear was covered both in and out with painful eruptions much like those of chicken pox. I also had them on my scalp and beneath my jaw and throat. Much worse than the spots is the pain in all the nerves that are affected. For more than four weeks the pain was extremely intense and unrelenting. The drugs prescribed by the doctor took the edge off but those first weeks I couldn’t sleep more than an hour or two at a time before the pain woke me up. And because the auditory nerve was affected, the left side of my face became paralyzed.
I immediately knew the shingles was only a physical symptom, that there was a lot going on beneath the surface of my condition. There were deeper reasons for this happening and I needed to figure it out before I could overcome the challenge. The spots, paralysis, and the pain were physical symptoms of inner conditions that I needed to look at and deal with. It’s easy sometimes to push down things in your life that you know you need to deal with at some point in time, especially if it is painful, and to try to ignore the whole thing, but it’s much harder to hide from yourself when the signs are right out there for the whole world to see. Suddenly, it’s hard to look in the mirror without seeing the evidence of the “stuff” that you’ve put off examining. And trust me, if the spots and paralysis weren’t enough to get my attention, the pain certainly did the trick!
I would venture to say that every single one of us here today has some kind of open communication with Spirit, whether it is channeling the Masters and angels, hearing our spirit guide’s voice, using our intuition, or just operating on a gut feeling. I am sure that you will all agree that knowing how to listen to that still, small voice within doesn’t mean that we always listen and follow it. We become very adept at closing to it when we think we know better or we just choose to take another direction. And the fact that things never turn out well when we do ignore our intuition doesn’t seem to matter. We use our free will to make such bonehead choices sometimes!
There are also the things that we agree to accomplish during each lifetime when we make the arrangements with our guides and angels to incarnate. We have such hope and enthusiasm while planning our future lifetime and tend to forget the complexities and hardships of life in the human form. We set all kinds of goals for ourselves and, in this lifetime especially it seems, tend to cram as much leftover karma to deal with as we feel we can handle. And we optimistically feel that we can handle a lot! When life hits us in the face then we prioritize the things on our “to do” list and put off resolving some things in order to deal with what we feel is the most urgent today. After all, when we are 20 or 30 we have plenty of time to do it all. And we keep right on pushing back all those voices that remind us that the list of to do’s isn’t getting any shorter but we are getting older.
Situations and circumstances in life that we put aside to resolve later are like the chicken pox virus that hides along the nerves. Once the chicken pox is over, we put it out of our minds and seldom think about it again, just like the karmic situations or relationships that we put off dealing with until later. Somehow they manage to reappear in our lives time and time again and become more painfully obvious with each reappearance until they are finally and for all time resolved.
Think of the challenges you have with abundance. Those challenges keep coming back time and again until you deal with the underlying belief and cause. Once that is done you can move forward to the lasting abundance and prosperity that God intends you to have. What about the relationship challenges in your life? Have you gotten out of one bad relationship only to choose another partner just like the first? Only when you have learned to resolve the underlying situation and deal with the circumstances that are reflecting the problem to you will you be able to release it and move forward to the loving and fulfilling relationship you were destined to experience.
As there are certain conditions like stress that can trigger the reactivation of the chicken pox virus, there are certain conditions that can trigger the reappearance of karmic circumstances and situations in your life. Last week Mary spoke about the many different energies that are now bombarding the earth and how they assist us in opening to information and insights. The solar flares, black holes, and the opening of the stargates are some of the previously determined catalysts that set in motion certain reactions within us. The Harmonic Convergence and the Harmonic Concordance were also catalysts for opening and spiritual growth. We can all access those energies in meditation and in our energy work in order to work with the immense healing energies that are flooding the planet. These energies heal not only the physical but the mental, emotional, and the spiritual ills of mankind.
Another way of knowing that the time has come to deal with the past, whether physical or karmic, is the gift of Mercury in retrograde. As the astrologers among you know, those periods of Mercury appearing to move backward are times in which those people and situations in the past have a way of reappearing in your life. You may have a chance encounter with someone with whom you have not spoken in years, someone, perhaps, with whom you parted on less than amiable terms. Use this time to make amends and to heal between you anything that might need forgiving or clarifying. From now until September 2nd when Mercury goes direct is the ideal time to mend the burned bridges between you and loved ones, friends, and even those with whom you work. Use this opportunity to clear all you can with those people and events from your past. It will make your present easier and your future brighter.
In preparing this, my guides wanted me to speak of the importance of forgiveness in order to clear karma and to cut once and for the chains of karma that bind us one to the other. Let me emphasize, as they do, that the chains of love can never be broken. The chains of karma that need to be broken are those which bind together people because of hate or animosity or lack of forgiveness of past actions or words.
There is a saying that the pen in mightier than the sword. That is true because the power of words, whether written or spoken, is well known and used by all who understand it to create or maintain power in this world. Setting spells, chanting, repeating mantras, or saying affirmations all rely on the power of the spoken word. When you speak, the energy of the intent of your words flows out into the universe and sets into motion that which your words have created. There is no such thing as an unimportant word for that reason. Even if you say something in fun or tease another about her looks or habits, your words have set in motion within her heart a new way of perceiving herself. Those words are even more intense and taken more to heart if you are someone she looks up to and respects or loves. Think back to your own childhood and to the times you were hurt and made to feel inferior somehow by the careless words of a teacher, a friend, or an adult. How many times have we unintentionally diminished our child’s self esteem by an offhand or humorous remark? We may have known it was a joke but the heart of a child often cannot distinguish between wit and sarcasm, teasing and truth. And do not let the laughing reaction of the one at whom the remark is aimed deceive you. People laugh when they are hurt in order to save face and to try to protect their vulnerability. So think of the areas in which forgiveness might be needed. A meditation of forgiveness to others and asking forgiveness in return is all that is needed. You need not have a face to face meeting in order for mutual forgiveness to be accomplished on the soul level.
I first heard the term “divine discontent” more than 20 years ago from a friend who is a Unity minister. It struck terror in my heart then as I began to see the truth in the phrase and to accept that I was trying to hide from the need for movement in my life toward the goals that were within my heart and soul.
Divine discontent, he explained, is that feeling within that all is not right in your inner world. The job may be great, the relationships all working well, family life putters along with no major disruptions, and life is okay. Life is okay but not great, and that vague feeling of “is this all there is?” sets in, like the Peggy Lee song. Sometimes it seems that no matter how good life may appear to be, there is still something deep within that says there is something better. These are the times when the voice of God/ Spirit/ Universe says to you, “Something better is out there for you.” And sometimes the “out there” isn’t out at all. Sometimes it is within.
Divine discontent is a call to renewed exploration of our personal growth, a challenge to examine our inner lives to see in which direction we need to move. Am I being all that I can be? Am I living each and every moment in service to God and my fellow man? Am I receiving the call of Spirit to stretch my boundaries and try something new? Am I willing to suspend my preconceived judgments and prejudices, to face my concerns and conquer my fears? Do I have a list of to do’s and do I remember to put myself at the head of the list? After all, my being in a human form is for my growth and development and to assist others in their growth. How will I have the strength to minister to others in my life, my spouse, significant other, friends, and children, if I do not minister to my needs first?
The beauty of the way that karma works is that we are presented a lesson time after time until we have mastered it. Karmic events to be resolved are much like a case of shingles. We think we have mastered a situation, relationship, or circumstance and put it out of our minds. Then suddenly one day it pops up again right in front of our eyes. “Oh, no!” we say in dismay. “I thought that was over and done with!” Sometimes the pain is heart wrenching and unbearable. Sometimes we find the only way out is to put aside pride, admit our mistakes, and ask humbly for forgiveness. Sometimes our pain is seeing how
our selfishness and thoughtless errors have affected another human being. Seeing the pain we cause others is at times greater than the pain we cause ourselves.
I have found personally that God/Goddess never gives me more to handle than I can cope with, but sometimes I wish she didn’t have quite so much faith in me! Sometimes it is downright scary to think about what Spirit urges me to do and I try to avoid it as long as I possibly can. Then out of the blue, something happens to make me stop and take stock of the situation. In other words, at first I get a kind of “hmmm?” feeling about something. I wonder how that would look/feel/work? If I ignore that and continue on, I am presented more tangible suggestions such as someone handing me a magazine article, hearing a radio ad, or as happened to me in Ethel and Harold’s bookstore once, a book will fall off the shelf into my hands. If I still resist the hints, some not so subtle, that now is the time, then the next step is usually the ever popular handwriting on the wall, or the “spiritual 2x4” in which I am shown in a more forceful or attention getting manner that I should pay more attention to this or get myself in gear now before something even more dramatic happens. The final straw is what I call the wall falling on me. At this point I know beyond a doubt that Spirit has tried everything short of major disaster to get my attention in this matter and now I get to experience the consequences of procrastinating yet again.
My definition of the wall falling on me? Shingles. There is nothing like excruciating pain coupled with the very public device of facial paralysis to get my attention and keep it on the situation at hand. Although I have known very clearly the task I have agreed to do as part of my life contract, I have procrastinated for much of the past ten years since it was first brought to my conscious attention. I have tried to rationalize my putting it off in every way imaginable. I worked full time for eight of those years. I had no free time in which to work on it. That was a good excuse until I got downsized two years ago. Then I had to get my new house organized after the move, then it was…well, you get the picture. Then about four months ago I decided that I really needed to go back to work, so I sent out my resume, and after being out of work for two years I was called for an interview. And this happened when? Two weeks after I developed shingles and a week after the paralysis. Not exactly the time to interview for a trainer’s position or do a 15 minute presentation for the hiring manager and the department manager. Does this seem like a sign to you? It was the last part of the wall to fall.
Uncle! Enough! I see the light so to speak and know that until I get my act together and take it on the road, I will continue to have these “subtle” reminders that Spirit and I arranged before I came here knowing my procrastinating ways.
Let me urge you to pay close attention to all the subtle and not so subtle ways that Spirit, your guides and angels prod and prompt you to clear the karma of the past, look in new directions and to work on completing the tasks and goals that you set for yourself before your arrival on the planet Earth. Procrastination can only end in two ways: you will be forced to accomplish very slowly at eighty that which you could have easily done at thirty or forty, or you will fail to accomplish the goal at all and find yourself reincarnating again with the same list but more difficult circumstances in which to work on them. No matter how young or old you are, time is of the essence. The energies that are flooding down on us are here to help and assist us in opening to the knowledge of why we are here and what we need to accomplish during our short, in eternal terms, stay here. Work with the energies, with your guides and angels, and the Ascended Masters who make themselves available to us whenever we ask for the help. Time is of the essence. Do not procrastinate any longer.
Oh, yes. I am again working seriously on my task. I think having one spiritual wall fall on me is quite enough, don’t you?
Blessings, love and light to you and yours
