Teach Only Love, Part 2
Do you stand up for others?
You are at work and hear your fellow female employees telling jokes that you feel are “male-bashing”. The jokes are definitely funny and you laugh, but you feel uncomfortable about it, especially when you see Joe cringe and walk away after overhearing the punch line. You feel the jokes are not appropriate for the workplace and they denigrate a fellow human being. How do you teach love in this situation without being the “party pooper” or the bad guy?
What do you choose to do when your friends gossip about mutual friends, spouses, or neighbors? Do you listen and enjoy the juicy details? Do you add some confidential tidbits of your own? Or do you change the subject to something more appropriate?
How do you react when your friends talk about the new employee who happens to be gay? How do you handle the situation when the jokes start and they ridicule his lifestyle behind his back? What do you do when they exclude him from the weekly pizza lunch and ignore him when they can?
What action do you take when you see someone being accosted on the street or a child being bullied on the playground? What do you do when you see a child being physically punished by a parent in a grocery store or the mall, when the child is being slapped, hit, or kicked? Do you step in or walk quickly away feeling badly for the child but rationalizing that it is none of your business?
Do you take the high road? Do you believe that all people are intrinsically honest and try to live ethical lives? Do you present that belief to others, or do you scoff at the politicians, call them untrustworthy and share the opinion that they are probably all on the take?
Do you live an ethical life? Or do you pad the expense account, cheat on your taxes, call in sick to enjoy a day at the beach, or tell your date, “I’ll call you soon,” when you have no intention of ever seeing the person again? Do you make personal long distance calls from the office instead of your home?
Do you, as a manager, respect your subordinates and trust them to complete their daily tasks as assigned, or do you feel the need to control the situation with an iron hand and micro-manage everything? As an employee, do you complete your job duties to the best of your abilities each day and use your creative talents to find more effective and efficient ways to accomplish your tasks, or do you do only what you are told and as little as you can get away with? Do you take pride in your accomplishments at work or is it merely a paycheck?
Do you use empathy to deal with the office whiner and try to understand what makes her so negative? Do you counter her objections to life’s ups and downs with positive suggestions and a ready smile, or do you, like all the rest, duck around the corner when you see her coming and avoid being alone with her at any cost?
As a manager, do you trust that your employees will use the company’s resources wisely, or do you keep the supply cabinet locked and require them to ask you for every pencil and paper clip? As an employee, do you use your company’s supplies wisely, or do you feel that it is your right to stock your home office with things you take from work? How can you teach your child not to take things that belong to others when he sees your briefcase brimming with goodies for your desk at home?
Do you spank your child, who is smaller than you, for misbehaving in public? Does spanking teach him to refrain from the undesirable behavior, or does it teach him that it is okay for a bigger person to hit a smaller person? Does spanking a child show him that you respect and value him as a person or does it show a lack of regard for his feelings and a lack of understanding on your part? Do you spank to teach humiliation and destroy your child’s self esteem? That is the outcome of corporal punishment. Could you find another way to show your child the desired behavior, a way that shows respect for him and nurtures his need for support and encouragement?
The first step in the process of teaching only love is to take a close look at our own lives to see how we react to things and how we interact with those with whom we share our lives. Patience and gentleness are traits that we should all strive to possess along with compassion, sympathy, and empathy. How can we teach love to someone who may never have known love before? How can we understand how to approach the challenge if we cannot put ourselves in another’s shoes to understand their perspective?
We must also strive to be non-judgmental with every person and in every situation. No matter how empathetic you may be, you can never truly see life through the other person’s eyes. Whatever you think you know about another’s situation, there are always underlying factors that you cannot begin to know. Is there anyone in your life, mother, father, wife, husband, sister, brother, who truly knows everything in your heart and soul? Aren’t there secret things within that you share only with God? Spirit alone knows all that goes on in a heart. Spirit alone can judge a person’s heart but chooses to be only love, to share only love, no matter what is in that heart. Can we do any less?
To teach only love requires constant vigilance on our part. We must focus attention each and every moment on our words, behaviors, and even our thoughts. If we let our attention waver for a moment, we fall back very easily into old habits. When we enjoy jokes or stories at someone else’s expense, participate in gossip that affects someone’s reputation, or criticize a person’s lifestyle, physical appearance, or mannerisms, we teach our companions and our children that that it is acceptable behavior.
When we stand up for the rights of others, live ethical lives, and become actively involved in issues that affect our neighborhoods, our country, and the planet on which we live, then we are able to teach love.
We can truly become the visible Lightworkers that we are meant to be when we spend each moment consciously living, breathing, and speaking truth and love. Let us pledge to live ethical lives holding compassion in our hearts, striving to be our brother and sister’s keepers, to make a difference for good in this world, and above all, to teach only love!
