“Visibility Unlimited” Leads to Unlimited Possibilities
Driving across the Buckman Bridge a few days ago, I was struck by the beauty of the low-lying clouds that seemed to float just out of reach above the river. I recalled flying through cloud banks on my last plane trip and then the phrase “visibility unlimited” popped into my mind. Well, the clouds that day certainly impaired long distance visibility, but I began thinking about how different our lives could be if we all practiced real “visibility unlimited” every day.
A person who has a narrow view of the world or may doubt his own abilities or worth will not live the successful and fulfilling life that it is possible to have because he is limiting his options and possibilities. A man who sees himself as a jock, playing football in high school and college to the neglect of other interests and pursuits, may end up defining his position in the world and his role in life only as it relates to the picture of “football player” that he carries of himself. This is the kind of man who relives the triumphs of the big game over and over again, even if that game was played twenty plus years ago and proudly shows off the game ball to his visiting buddies. He compares the successes or failures of his life since then by that one defining moment in his life. He may feel that his sole triumph in life was the winning touchdown in that game that he ran from the 50-yard line in the last 2 minutes of play. Yes, that is a great moment when he was a high school or college student. But that was then. What about today?
The same can be applied to the teenage beauty queen who won the citywide title when she was seventeen and represented her town in the state finals. The tiara is displayed in a glass case; the evening gowns are safely stored in a cedar chest in the attic underneath the scrapbook with the photos and newspaper clippings. Every day she compares the photo of that event with the image that is reflected in the mirror and sees the failures of her life represented in the tiny wrinkles that have appeared with time.
There is nothing wrong with reliving good times and enjoying a trip down memory lane. But when a person feels at thirty or at forty that life peaked at 17 or 20 and the rest has been down hill, then it’s time to have a reality check and to take a much broader view of life on this planet. Those who have a narrow view of the world and see things as black and white with few shades of gray are severely limiting the type of experiences and the lessons that will be available to them.
“Visibility unlimited” says that there is nothing impeding our vision of life and all that it has to offer. No longer does a woman have the limited choices of wife, nurse, or schoolteacher, but may choose a career, should she desire one, from among all the varied and differing jobs available on the planet. Just because a person has reached middle age without having earned a college degree does not limit her to life without one. More and more people are changing careers two, three, or more times throughout their lives where a generation ago, changing careers at all was considered very risky indeed. Once chosen, a career with an organization was a life long pursuit. Now most workers change jobs every three to five years and it is the accepted way to advance a career.
Those who do so are not limiting themselves to past experiences, career fields, and positions. They are looking for and actively pursuing new and exciting companies and careers. They have refused to limit the future based on the experiences of the past. They continue to look forward, to try new things, new areas, and to continually ask the question, “What if?”
Each and every one of us is in the daily position of either resting on our previous triumphs and failures, being content to live as we have always lived before and experience life in a narrow way, or forge ahead seeking new and exciting adventures. It takes a bit of courage to be the only wife and mother in a class of 18-year-old college freshmen. I know. I did it. Did I feel awkward and conspicuous? You bet! Did I let it stop me? Absolutely not, for I knew what I wanted and was not going to be stopped, not by age differences, biology homework, or term papers. Was it difficult doing my homework while helping my four school age children with theirs? Yes, indeed. But I succeeded, and many years and several degrees later, I know that the knowledge about myself that I gained from those experiences was every bit as worthwhile as the history, literature, and biology that I learned.
My vision of what I could accomplish was not as unlimited as it could have been. It took many long years to earn the first college degree due to the numerous Navy moves we made and many years of struggling with the finances to complete it. But the one thing that I did have from the beginning was the inner knowing that I could accomplish my goal someday. Did it matter to me that two of my four children had already graduated from high school by the time I walked across the stage to shake the University president’s hand and receive the diploma? I would not have cared if I had been 60. The accomplishment was the important thing, not the length of time it took to happen.
Now my grandchildren are old enough to talk about what they might want to do with their lives and I certainly encourage them to dream big. In spite of the fears about the economy, the quality of education in the local schools, the escalating tuition in post-secondary schools, or even physical challenges, I encourage their hopes and dreams of the future, a future without limits. It is true that what the mind can conceive, a man or woman can achieve. But if that person allows thoughts, beliefs, or other people’s opinions and edicts to limit his or her perception of what is possible, then an injustice of the worst kind is committed.
One of the most heinous crimes against humanity, in my opinion, is the destruction of another’s hopes and dreams of the future. By presenting limiting thoughts to a child, we, as parents, can damage the fragile self-esteem and self worth of the children that come to us for encouragement and nurturing. We can destroy the joy in a child’s heart by thoughtless criticism or ridicule, telling her that she is stupid, slower to learn that her cousin, not as pretty as her friend, or that she is fat and unattractive. We must not tell our sons that boys don’t cry or shouldn’t play with dolls. We must not limit our children’s vision of what tomorrow might bring or the role that each one of them might play in new discoveries in science, medicine, business, or the like. We must not judge our children by our past experiences, whether they have been successful or failures.
We must, as parents, encourage our children to dream of things yet discovered, knowledge not yet learned, products not yet invented. We must always answer the “Why?” questions with patience and honesty. We must encourage their imaginations and creativity. We must introduce them to the game of “what if” and open our own minds to participate with them. We must not allow our past experiences to hinder the dreams and unfolding hearts, minds, and spirits of our children. We must not allow our fears to influence them and keep them from seeing the possibilities that lie before them.
Help them to grow beyond what we have accomplished. Lead them gently into new areas of knowledge and creativity. By helping the children, we will be helping ourselves and creating new possibilities for us as well.
We must replace the vision of our past with the unlimited visibility and unimpeded vision of the future. Only by doing so, will we, as parents and as human beings, achieve all that we are capable of achieving physically, mentally, and spiritually.
